21 iun. 2014


In the silence of the night you may feel the presence of loved passed ones... and then you realise the whole you have left in your heart... And I feel the loss, the enormous fell out of possession and I think constantly if love should also mean letting go in this way, or if we are used to possess people just like things...
It's hard to deal with death especially when it strikes in such a short notice... And it makes you think there must have been something you could have done better and it makes you feel helpless in front of it... And it make you feel like God is somehow this undoubtable step we all have to take... While life is just something chemically happening... However it's even more complicated when it comes to you being the one who decides when one's suffering ends and where you play God. There is nothing even more painful than playing the Great Divine. I don't want that and personally I believe I would become a vegetarian were it to live out of my own hunt. And this is how thoughts came into action and brought the mind to the endless wheel of justice which led the heart into infinite tears... It's hard to lose one soul, it's even harder when it strikes you that your time may be one day just as limited as that. And it's a wake up call to do what you like and what you feel it's right for you.
Keep your head up and enjoy the sun, the rest will happen anyway... Inevitable...

12 iun. 2014

Ganduri in timp

Astazi este o zi in care invat ca uneori e greu sa lasi pe cineva drag sa se duca... Si cred ca e si mai greu cand decizia iti apartine... Si ma loveste dur faptul ca trebuie sa fac pe Dumnezeu si sa decid cand cineva trebuie sa se duca... Nu vreau sa fiu Dumnezeu... Este un rol pe care nu mi-l doresc, desi noua oamenilor ne place sa ne credem mereu superiori unii altora... Si cred ca timpul pe care il avem il evaluam teribil de gresit. Nu intelegem ca timpul nostru nu este nelimitat si ca dramuirea nu trebuie sa fie bazata pe prioritati inutile... Nu avem ierarhii si respectam multi indivizi fara valoare... Timpul nostru este timpul nostru si trebuie sa existe echilibru in ceea ce facem si sa stim sa ne respectam timpul pe care il avem... 
O pufosenie mica care a venit in viata mea acum 14 ani a fost atacata de cea mai crunta boala... Si cel mai trist este ca pufosenia sa sufera, iar eu sunt cea care trebuie sa decida unde se opreste suferinta ei. Am invatat de la ea ce inseamna sa comunici la un alt nivel, ce inseamna sa arati afectiune si ce inseamna sa ai o responsabilitate majora. 
Si pentru toate lucrurile pe care le-am invatat de la ea in 14 ani consider ca trebuie sa tin minte fiecare clipa frumoasa petrecuta impreuna sau departe cu ganduri si griji... 
Cred ca ea m-a invatat ce inseamna sa port de grija intr-o lume in care nimanui nu ii pasa de tine... 

10 iun. 2014

Zambeste pentru un zambet

Aceasta este o analiza critica a lumii de astazi. Luati o pauza sa va ganditi la toate lucrurile care va sunt vandute in fiecare zi cu un simplu zambet si apoi gandeste-te daca ai putea avea aceeasi atitudine in propria ta activate.
Cumparam de la fete zambitoare, de la vecini entuziasti si datorita recomandarilor.
Zambetele sunt foarte folositoare lumii noastre, asa ca un mic zambet cumva ne obliga sa cumparam.
Societatea comunista stia ca un individ intra in fabrica si apoi "traieste" acolo pentru restul vietii sale. Dar in societatea capitalista, indivizii sunt liberi si incurajati sa mearga mai departe. Antreprenorul este incurajat sa schimbe oamenii, afacerea nu evoluaza in jurul angajatilor, a lumii, a societatii, dar se dezvolta impreuna cu toti acesti factori si, bineinteles, depinde de imbatranirea fauritorilor ei. Asa ca, va rog, mergeti mai departe cand simtiti ca ajungeti la capatul acestui pas in dezvoltare. In loc sa aveti o fata plictisita la munca, care nu va ajuta, va rog faceti ceva ce iubiti cu un zambet pe fata.
Asta v-ar putea ajuta sa va simtiti mai bine si se va transmite prin empatie catre publicul vostru. Si lumea este mult mai frumoasa acolo unde nu exista tensiune si incruntare.
De asemenea, entuziasmul noului care te face sa te simti auto-increzator este ceea ce te ajuta atat pe tine cat si pe cei carora te adresezi. Ce este cel mai bine pentru tine poate fi si pentru altii. Trebuie doar sa le arati asta si sa ii faci sa se identifice cu tine.
Recomandarile sunt de incredere cand persoana care le face este una asemanatoare cu tine. Deci trebuie sa te identifici cu ei. Zambeste si persoana de langa tine va zambi si ea. Si, iata cum ai vandut un zambet! Ideea este ca trebuie sa imbratisezi noul nu doar in calitate de consumator, dar ca pe o dezvoltare personala. Si asa lumea noastra va continua sa curga spre VIITOR.
Si, te rog, pune suflet in ce faci si vei avea mai multi fani. Inceteaza sa iti fie teama de cei ce te judeca. Toata lumea face greseli.
Intr-o lumea care face indivizii sa se simta singuri, ai sansa sa castigi oamenii de partea ta ascultandu-i sau aratandu-le empatie. Intelege pozitia lor, pune-te in situatia lor, inceteaza sa judeci si apoi vorbeste cu ei. Ii vei avea mai apropiati si asta ii obliga sa aiba incredere in tine.
Vorbeste prea mult si le pierzi interesul. Trebuie sa iti salvezi energia pentru restul zilei sau pentru momentele importante din viata ta. Slujbele nu sunt menite sa te epuizeze. Slujbele sunt menite sa iti dea o activitate recompensata intr-o socitate capitalista. Altfel nu exista nimic nou la cuvantul "slujba". Si un zambet la munca ii va face pe oameni sa piarda orice putere pe care cred ca o au asupra ta.

9 iun. 2014

Faith and More

Throughout history humans have fought for food. No matter what vision of expansion a leader embraced, the main purpose for conquering new territories was food. 
Nowadays, food is much easier to obtain. We have food, if we work for it. The money we make allows us to buy food. The rest are details. No one is willing to fight for it anymore. There is no reason to. No one knows why battles were lead anymore. Nobody cares about history. And the apocalypse is always just a biblical word. We are fed on daily basis with strange information of panic, which leads us into more and more consumption. 
I guess we lose the main perspective from time to time and we become blinded by the ever new releases of great variety, when as "animals" our main concern and interest are the basic needs. The rest is advertising in our vains. 
Coming back to our modern life, where we go to the shop to buy something to eat and find a great variety to pick from, I have to say the struggle has changed. We now fight with the decisions we make. Our brains cooperate with the advertising messages harder and harder. We no longer feel the need to fight, we need to get as if it would end tomorrow. And there are boxes bigger and bigger getting on the market. 
Think twice before thinking we have a hard life. We have a very easy life. Easier than your pet's maybe. And yet, your pet is treated with good intention. But what if you meant wrong? Too many 'pets' and survival of the fittest.
Still, what if one day our resources would be less than the demand we have?
Somehow, we have that today in our world. We have a few corners of the world where people are not properly fed. They fight for their everyday survival. They don't fight for territory, because there is none left. Those who want to thrive leave the desert. And the outside world shall be conquered for food. They have to make it in big cities in order to reach that food everyone is talking about. 
And  somehow we have it in us to love the death stage. 
Think only of the cruel movies with box office success. 
And then count your blessings for still being alive in a time where fight is mainly with our minds on the world stage. 
Keep your sanity with every word you read and don't get lost in survival elements!

8 iun. 2014

True Beauty of Crises

Because our world is going through a crises, we seem to return to the good old "poverty" values. We aim more to the natural standards, which may result in a good turn for our ever consuming world. 
I am happy to be part of the generation that stands tall in front of the world crises. 
It's not easy to go through something which is in theory a collapse, which will be talked about as the world crises of the 21st century and yet it is a moment to realise that values are not lost, just rediscovered. I am happy to be part of projects which promote that kind of simple beauty we seem to have lost among the artificial things. And it's hard to know where beauty lies when all that has been promoted as premium has been fake. I believe brands are the first who need to reinvent themselves in such a world change. We redefine movement in a world that needs faster mobility and has less physical activity. We are the ones who learn poverty may mean beauty, if class is added to it and if harmony joins. It's not easy to return to values that were never taught and to educate kids in the manner which proves there is life beyond the unreachable aspirations of marketing. And the crises is teaching us just that. 
Consumerism is winning new values and reusability becomes marketable. Thanks to some big metropolis who redefine style in the vintage version and thanks to some smart marketing tools, we learn to recycle the old into new fashionable things. 
I take a bow in front of the artists and creators who know how to promote as classy the simple miracles in our everyday lives. 
We need to keep in mind the beauty of basics in order to keep track of our human condition. 


Are si Pantelimonul farmecul lui...

Este amuzant sa vezi parinti care incearca sa isi educe copiii cat mai bine, sa vezi copii care incearca sa fie cat mai buni si sa vezi exemplarele scapate din tipare. Este dragut sa vezi locul unde aurul este o podoaba la moda, sa vezi masinile care trebuie sa fie cat mai impresionante, sa vezi ca blocurile, strazile si locurile de joaca nu sunt niciodata placute, ci doar utile. Este enervant sa vezi cum gropile rasar la tot pasul, locurile de parcare se inventeaza si reinventeaza, in fiecare luna mai incepe o lucrare de reparatie sau reconstructie. Este locul unde daca reusesti sa fii iubit si sa supravietuiesti, s-ar putea sa rasari.
Infratirea pe o scurta portiune cu Iancului ii ridica un pic clasa, dar aceasta scade pe partea Baicului. Si totusi oamenii de aici au reusit sa ajunga undeva. Si asta ma face sa ma simt mandra ca sunt de acolo... Ma face sa ma simt mandra ca stiu ca si mama a copilarit pe aceleasi maidane, ca a aflat de mica ce inseamna peninsula din spatele pietei Delfinului. Si imi place ca bunica a venit in zona cand era un maidan nou. Poate ca noi nu vom mai fi acei deschizatori de drum, ci vom incerca doar sa ne integram in centrul orasului unde aglomeratia ne omoara din unicitate si ne ucide puterea de a crea.
Si cand ma gandesc la toate sfaturile primite si cand imi imaginez cum era pe atunci si cum e acum, imi dau seama ca aceasta istorie e in mine... Multumita locului unde m-am nascut si unde am crescut...
Plimbarea continua prin alte locuri din Bucuresti m-a transformat intr-un observator fin al societatii urbane. Astfel ca imi place sa trag concluzii si sa analizez oameni si comportamente, sa vad gesturi care vin din educatia din familie, sa vad influenta mediului asupra copiilor... Ce se depune peste educatie...

7 iun. 2014


In mersul grabit prin ploaia zilei de toamna vezi o raza de soare refractata dintr-o cladire de sticla... Si analizezi ca suntem cumva precum o prisma... Primim si transmitem... Ce diudat! Adica pentru a fi mai buni, trebuie sa primim bunatate... Ar trebui sa fiu mai atenta cu ce ma atinge din tot ce se intampla in jurul meu... 
Ploaia e de vina cumva pentru aceste stari ciudate din jurul meu, incerc eu sa gasesc o motivatie in demotivarea generala... Si regasesc idealurile pe care le pierdusem undeva pe drum in pasul grabit... Clar, mersul pe jos este sanatos... Te ajuta sa te regasesti... Sa gasesti acele ganduri personale pe care le pierzi in stationare... Prin stationare se apropie de tine tot ce se intampla in jur... Cand mergi, nu te mai atinge nimic si pierzi rapid gandurile lipsite de importanta... Uiti de perisabilitate, uiti de superficialitate si te regasesti... Astfel ajung sa readuc ceva bun inapoi in lume... Ma plimb mai departe...

5 iun. 2014

Little Big

I grew up surrounded by mature people. For me they were the big people. And I wanted to be just like them. I had no idea what that meant. I just knew they knew everything, they could do anything and there was nothing scaring them. Except the regime.
A few years ago, all grown up, I was asked what I wanted to become. And the answer shook my entire ground. Now I was big, I had nothing to fear, I have done a lot, but still I felt I haven't done much. And still I was big. Somehow I felt there was a lot more to do than the standards I had before. And to think there was actually nothing to be afraid of. And my only fear was that I would not do enough.
Now, I consider I am that big person. And it all stays in a different context. I ponder now not only my doings, but the magic my friends make come true. And they touch people's lives with the things they make. And this way, my new context lies in the generation that moves this world at present times. Quite proud to brag about being big.

I have to name here my friend who works for the biggest company in the world and small as she may be, she does something that moves the world.
I have to remember, my friend who is an architect. And with her ideas she changes the world aesthetically. Proud again for such company.
I cannot forget my artistic friend, who does everything to make the world better and who raises emotion.
And another good friend who works in a place where people are boasting with pragmatism and yet she moves this company through her charm and communication.
With all these friends, I have to aim to be big. In a society which sells lack of culture as a model, I am the proud friend of such people moving world with great heritage. And I stand up straight and say hello to whomever looks down on me because my values are bigger than their pity small hearts and minds.
Writing can change the world with a good speech. A good speech can free minds. Freedom comes from value and Freedom is what gives you the power to create, to move or to change. Freedom is what makes one Big.

Woman in Her 30s

I received as a gift this book from a friend of mine when turning 30 and I decided to open it and start reading it once again.
The story is about a father who tries to worn his little girl about mistaking her infatuation with love over an older man, a colonel. The father is fairly concerned with his daughter's  desire to marry him for his position and the impression he makes on the little girl. And in spite of her father's advice she decides to marry him. And the rest of the story should be read to understand what Balzac was trying to say. 
The main idea I got was that in our early years we are looking for models, for men who can be up there on a pedestal and who can guide us in our lives. These are stories very well put together. The guy on the horse was a colonel who has lived most of his life as a career man. Now he was looking for a wife to stay home and wait for him. 
The modern woman I believe is a lot more sophisticated. She wants to have her career and her life to be guided by her rules. It is very hard for the modern woman with a career to make up her mind about who is suitable for her to stand by for the rest of her life. By the time she reaches that point in her career she is self sufficient and he only needs to come in and feel in a soul whole. And he needs to understand that coffee can be made or just drunk, but it doesn't make a difference at the end of the day who made it and who drunk it. It matters that there is someone there in the morning to share the coffee with. And it matters that his arms hold you and tell you "Good night!" at the end of the battle. Somehow, the 30 year old woman now-a-days is the colonel who needs a sure thing when arriving home.


The effects of monetarity and the lack of morality: we are paying more money to a woman taking off her clothes than to a teacher taking out her knowledge... And the problem is we are losing morality and encouraging monetarity in a world that's losing more and more the idea of selfesteem. We have come to measure our lives in money. We learn in as many words as possible or even invent more every day for the simple process of consumerism. I still hope we will some day recover and regain all the moral value we've earned through the test of time, wars and revolutions. However the future is not so nearby. We are somehow blind not to see that the herds will not go in the right direction, but the individual must make the right choice. I believe it is mandatory to learn how to make most of the essential stuff yourself. The processed info is enough being fed ot us. Literally or literary, we ar beginning to miss the importance of making. We are producing for society, but never making stuff that will test of time.
In my opinion, the future will show the test of time. And the one who knows how to actually make something will have to win versus one who doesn't. In theory... My theory...

4 iun. 2014

The Weakness of Being Weak

I was kindly asked today what is my purpose in writing. For the right answer I had to take some time to think about it, though I've known it all my life: there is nothing making me feel better than the writing. This is what helps me say things as truthful as I can. With irony and deep analysis I see the world as a better place. All the sad truths most people get angry about, I am now facing with a smile and an ironic thought that it shouldn't be changed or else we wouldn't have anything to laugh about. I turn the disturbing dysfunctional into the strange matter to laugh about and move on, the buffoon of the court. 
And with all your judgemental writings, you don't want to change anything?
said the man with the voice. No, I don't want to change anything. I want to make a point and those who will be willing to listen may change something in time or laugh with me at the moment. 
But this means you are weak and you are not a weak person, continued the man with the voice. 
I am weak, that's why I write about it. I am weak, that's why I never change things, but I rather stand back, as a decent and quiet observer to the useless panic, the crazy yells, the unfair thefts, the disturbing sounds, the indecent approach to the normal life and the rest of our everyday encounters. 
From dusk till dawn, walk your feet in a crazy pace or in a slow move and you will notice a funny story, you will see someone who raises emotion in you. And that someone has a story to tell, has done something wrong and while counting up deeds, you will have to laugh about it, about life, about the world we live in. 
And this I call weak, not strong. And proud to be standing up here on the mountain and chase the stories down the piece of paper, the blank webpage, the empty text message. 
From time to time I get my head in the clouds and forget I am still down here, with the feet deep in the earth. But it helps. It helps a great deal to be the urban anthropologist. 
A good day for thoughts, for chatting, for getting back to writing. 
A good day for a walk down Calea Victoriei, Bucuresti.

3 iun. 2014

Happiness You're Looking For

I keep seeing silicones and anorexia promoted as beauty. I see fake eyelashes and fake nails as beauty. Personally, I hate that. Not because I couldn't afford it or because I am afraid of the pain to get there, but because these are fake values. And it all comes down to the reality we embrace versus the beauty we have promoted in the media. It all comes down to accepting who we are in order to be happy. Everywhere you look you see people being miserable, being tired, constantly complaining about their lives. And we are being promoted to impossible standards of "perfection".
Let's stop for a while and see where we stand by looking at ourselves in the mirror. With a critical eye, just notice what is there to be changed in the mirror. Look straight into your eyes and find the sparkle you lost. Remember the last time you looked at yourself and you've seen exactly what you expected and then try to go back to that time.
This continuos complain on all media and the constant raise of the standards does not make us happier, but constantly unhappier. Also, the reach of standards does not make us happy unless that is what we aim for. And we don't. Think clear for a second and notice what you really want. You don't want to be miserable in a box, you want to be free to explore the world.
Take time to walk your thoughts, anger and frustrations off.
That is where real beauty lies and that is what makes you happy. That must be the happiness you are looking for