22 iul. 2010

almost 3 km

After 5 years of going the same path for almost 3 km, I added some things, substracted some moments, multiplied some instances, divided the amounts and came up with a very sad conclusion.


It turns out I have waisted many resources to come to a big office full of energetic people every day. One minus and one plus so far. Lovely moments with bad energy from time to time when people would start to get very tired.


Then it turns out that, focused on the work I had to do, I somehow left behind the writing skills I have been gifted with. It results I have substracted my moment of possible glory to do the math.


Continuing down this line, I realized I have missed most important moments in my family's life while being away for work. So I had more than one instance of missing the family reunions, the happiness of one's celebration or the joy of wedding and baptism.


This lost is what made me see the big abyss in front of me.


Because I was always driving to and from work I had no time to let my bad energy get out of my body and in a very natural way, so I was always coming home with the negative energy. Therefore all my relations were in jeopardy because of it. I had no intention of getting out of the house, I was fighting with my family and friends, I was feeling lonely, I wanted to be left alone. So, all these mixed strange feelings were held inside. Instead of having a chance to let them out, I was driving them even further. Why? Cause driving around in my car I had no way to relax any muscle of my body, but it would get me faster from one point to another. But I, as human being, didn't need to go from point A to point B in less than 15 minutes. Honestly nobody is ever in a hurry for anything except when it's a matter of life and death. So, why is it that making commercials should be a matter of life and death when you come to realize you are only a salesman.

Moreover every day spent in the office would be a day facing the monitor and doing nothing but math. And therefore a big substraction from my health.

So, bottom line after adding, substracting, multiplying and dividing, is that I am somehow caught in this big mirracle of nonliving.

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