Woman in Her 30s

I received as a gift this book from a friend of mine when turning 30 and I decided to open it and start reading it once again.

The story is about a father who tries to worn his little girl about mistaking her infatuation with love over an older man, a colonel. The father is fairly concerned with his daughter's  desire to marry him for his position and the impression he makes on the little girl. And in spite of her father's advice she decides to marry him. And the rest of the story should be read to understand what Balzac was trying to say. 

The main idea I got was that in our early years we are looking for models, for men who can be up there on a pedestal and who can guide us in our lives. These are stories very well put together. The guy on the horse was a colonel who has lived most of his life as a career man. Now he was looking for a wife to stay home and wait for him. 

The modern woman I believe is a lot more sophisticated. She wants to have her career and her life to be guided by her rules. It is very hard for the modern woman with a career to make up her mind about who is suitable for her to stand by for the rest of her life. By the time she reaches that point in her career she is self sufficient and he only needs to come in and feel in a soul whole. And he needs to understand that coffee can be made or just drunk, but it doesn't make a difference at the end of the day who made it and who drunk it. It matters that there is someone there in the morning to share the coffee with. And it matters that his arms hold you and tell you "Good night!" at the end of the battle. Somehow, the 30 year old woman now-a-days is the colonel who needs a sure thing when arriving home.

Monetarity

The effects of monetarity and the lack of morality: we are paying more money to a woman taking off her clothes than to a teacher taking out her knowledge... And the problem is we are losing morality and encouraging monetarity in a world that's losing more and more the idea of selfesteem. We have come to measure our lives in money. We learn in as many words as possible or even invent more every day for the simple process of consumerism. I still hope we will some day recover and regain all the moral value we've earned through the test of time, wars and revolutions. However the future is not so nearby. We are somehow blind not to see that the herds will not go in the right direction, but the individual must make the right choice. I believe it is mandatory to learn how to make most of the essential stuff yourself. The processed info is enough being fed ot us. Literally or literary, we ar beginning to miss the importance of making. We are producing for society, but never making stuff that will test of time.

In my opinion, the future will show the test of time. And the one who knows how to actually make something will have to win versus one who doesn't. In theory... My theory...

Recunoasterea frumusetii

Cumva in adancul sufletului nostru simtim frumusetea de la cei care ne inconjoara. Si trebuie sa spun ca ne plac inconstient numai anumiti oameni sau anumite lucruri. Este chiar surprinzator ca nu ne exprimam asta intr-un mod ce poate fi explicat. Am incercat sa pun asta cumva in cuvinte si problema ramane ca nu prea stim ce sa alegem din vastele simtiri. Incercam sa gasim motive unde argumentul este mai mult de ordin sentimental. Am invatat ca sunt trei stadii ale analizei operei de arta: primul este recunoasterea superficiala, al doilea se bazeaza pe interpretare si al treilea se refera la legatura intre cunostintele noastre cu tema si sensul pe care il dobandeste astfel opera de arta. Poate ca si noi functionam la fel cand recunoastem frumusetea din jurul nostru. Incercam in primul rand sa conturam subiectul, apoi recunoastem grupul caruia ii apartine si la al treilea nivel contextualizam in baza cunostintelor noastre: frumos sau nu. 

Frumusetea este cumva apropiata de inima noastra, asa ca trebuie sa fie similara cu alegerile pe care le-am facut in trecut. Si frumusetea este inca mai adanca pentru a fi mentionata, notata si exprimata. 

Fie sa gasim cat mai multa si sa judecam in asa fel incat sa ne simtim frumosi si inconjurati de frumusete in fiecare zi!

What Keeps the Human Machine going

Have you noticed how all media players turn themselves off once out of your attention. If you don't push any buttons the computer, the tv or even the phone turns to standby mode without voicing anything. I don't mind it, but  I realised that people seem to behave more in the same direction which I believe it's not exactly healthy. We, as humans, begin to expect less from the people we interact with: turn off the conversation as soon as we are bored with it, we don't say hello or good bye because we get straight to the point or ignore the simple salute of a neighbour. And I realised this as I felt one day I was missing a message from something that was speaking a few hours ago and now the house was in complete quietness. It's a bit scary to think of it this way. However, the tv was on a few hours ago and as I ignored it for a couple of hours, it turned itself off without letting me know. And I realised the simple good bye interaction would make me feel a little bit cared for. I am afraid to admit that the human interaction is what keeps us going. It's not the house, not the land and the objects we possess, but the pure human interaction. That is how we all know we are cared for somehow. That is how we learn to deal with our fears, our hopes and dreams. We need to hear a voice gently speaking to us, crying or screaming from time to time. And this is a little bit the usual we take for granted or suggest we don't need in favour for the technology we use. No matter how boring or how exciting a conversation turns out to be, we love the simple chattering which makes our brains function better than just auditioning some electronic show made for perishability. In a comic way I can say the oil that makes the human machine work is the human interaction in all its joy, boredom or sadness.

Our Four Wheel Opulence

Dear drivers,

have you wondered how often you actually use the whole car you are driving? I did. 

Quite often I realise the small car I drive around the city alone is too big for my real city needs. If you come to think about it you couldn't reduce your life in the city to bike or motorcycle, but think about a two seat car where you could also accommodate the suit or the backpack or even a friend you want to take with you. So, I realised the two seated cars are very good for the city. 

Still, I see around the city small 4 seat cars which are too small for 4 people, but yet the producers don't adapt these cars to 2 seated, smaller fuel consumption and smaller CO2 emissions. Please, think about it and tell yourself honestly how many times did you get out of the city with your small car? I did only few times, but the truth is I did it more for the car than for the real need to get out with my small car. And I must say I got a kei car to reduce emissions and to keep a small parking space occupied. I am happy with my choice still, I have not often used the rest of the 2 seats my car has.

And there is always the other car: the one you dream of. Yes, I admit, I dream to drive an SUV. I love the SUVs. The reason: I am small in height, I love to see the world from a top view, I feel safer in a taller car. However, thinking about it twice, I admit, I cannot find a real reason for it. I would drive it around the city in a high CO2 emission, I would pay bigger insurance and tax, I couldn't find a parking space quite often and I would use an unnecessary space in the city with my "tank". I would love it when going around the country. Still, my vacation lasts 21 days per year. And that is why I get to use a big space for 21 days out of the 365 of a year. I don't want to turn this into percentage, but I believe the figures are quite relevant. Do you believe this is worth it?

I know what you are about to say. I grew up with the same American movies and I loved the opulence, the grandeur of their SUVs. However, we are going through economical crises and this is why it is simply stupid to keep up large buildings as homes when you are living on your own, to drive a huge car which takes up space and to be opulent when all the others are squeezing to live. Let's consider twice if it's really worth driving a big car in a crowded metropolis rather than having the humble look and redefine city life.

Please think about it twice when making the choice for your car!

To Change or Not To Change

The paradox of our lives is that we love new stuff, but we freak out at the slightest change of routine.
We have easily adapted to consumerism and we feel the need of new clothes, new electronics, new cars, new flowers etc. all the time. However, if there is a change in our neighbourhood or the traffic is closed on a Monday morning on our street, you will hear a lot of swearing. And so, I have to admit, I am a little bit confused: we want new, but without a change. Now, that will never get us anywhere further. Or maybe we work with small changes, not being able to adapt to sudden changes.
We are the generation of bigger, better, faster, more, but we miss out on essential, life, mystery or useful. If we kept in mind also the last ones, maybe we would feel a little bit happier and embrace the new in whatever shape and sudden change it would come. Bigger is not always useful, better is not always essential, faster is not about life, more is killing the mystery. And the thing is we have a life to live and we are in a rush to the finish line, but we miss out on the "take a breathe to feel life".

Market(ing) rules

I am not really referring to the marketing as we seem to perceive it in our every day consumerist world, but rather in a more traditional context. We have the market products which are usually brought in the city, no matter how big or small, by the producers of fruit and vegetables. And as I thought that is the place to find real value for the products that are bio, it turns out I was mistaken. First of all, not all the products in the market are naturally raised in Romania. Some or imported and the conditions for their development are not the best. So, if you want to buy imported food, please try the supermarkets. They may be better in terms of pricing and maybe even freshness. Second of all, it turns out that even the people in the market have this unwritten rule: Friday, Saturday and Sunday the prices are bigger. Also, the best days to shop in terms of price and quality is Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. It turns out Monday is not really a market day, though the market is open. And I found out all this chatting with elder people. I asked all my friends and it turns out that only those who are working in corporations know about this rule. It turns out it was sort of adapted to their way of life. That is why I say once again, life should not be about work Monday to Friday and 9 to 5. It should be about the work you can do even outside these hours and days and it should be about the freedom to move and do your regular tasks in those hours also. We are missing out on normal lives the more we seem to lose out of our sight the importance of living and not giving satisfaction to the strangers for knowing our habits though they know not our names. Look up, look for the sun on a cloudy day and you will notice there is a lot of life beyond the schedule you have so particularly made for your next 30 years! Make life after your own rules, don't let the marketing ones make it!

the Value and Appreciation

I look at lots of people from former communism countries who make it in more democratic countries and I realise there is something rotten in the way we are thinking. We somehow don't give the right to anyone to stand up and say "I am valuable/talented". And it's a little bit crazy because we don't really have very good criticising criteria. We are killing any talent in the bud because someone else can and we didn't have the courage to try it. And it's actually based on our frustrations and our need to be appreciated that we seem to still suffer from. The strangest thing is we are killing our own ideas in the bud and there is no one else's fault we leave our dreams behind. And from this frustration we stand tall and criticise anyone else who dares to stand up. Stupid or not, let the public decide the value of one. And the appreciation will come to those who deserve. This is the most important lesson people in human cultural history has learned when coming out of the Middle Ages. And in Romania we were also encouraged to write at the beginning of our writing era. And there was this smart guy who said we first need to create and then judge values. I believe in this. It's a good lesson from history of culture and we should listen to the past if we want to forget about the manipulation and the times when we were guided to like some people. Those are no longer values. We make the values, but we should let them be expressed first and then separate. It happens in a natural way and we just witness the whole process. It's a democratic choice we have to let happen!
Good luck and follow your dream if you have one!

Life is very descriptive

You just have to have your eyes wide open. Keep them up to feel the sun, the light, to see the nature and all coming with it... even the rain and the storm.
I took a walk down the street and under the trees. I avoided dangers such as street dogs and I faced my fears. My major fear of thunder hitting me. It was a bit scary with the sky, the noise, the lightning and still I kept on walking. My feet were leading me home. The whole walk made me think that our fears keep us indoors when nature shows its dark side. And it's not really normal. We live in a city and the more we grow into these urban settlements the more "don't" we get. We become less free of our true nature and therefore the nature forgets about us. Our city turns into a common settlement for citizens and we dehumanise. Let's rather keep our natural rhythm going and face the fears. And maybe then we will see the true beauty of nature even on a rainy day like today.

Urban anthropology

I get to walk down the street and up the street in search for inspiration from time to time and I find that there are a lot of characters with probably interesting stories to tell. For example, I noticed there are some street people who live in the same neighbourhood they know for years. The funny thing is they don't have a home, but they continue to stay down the streets they know. They could be nomads and try to find shelter somewhere else, but they prefer the known land. And one day I saw this street woman who was giving advice to a new mother walking her baby. I found it charming because for one moment she was no longer lower, socially speaking, but an equal or even higher in terms of knowledge. I am always afraid of these people because I don't believe I get them. And I feel most normal people think like me. Still, I may be wrong in some ways. They are human, after all. And the house is not a condition for being human.

Shopping style ...

I seem to have forgotten the way shopping with girls used to be like. So, I have spent half an hour in a shop to find the right clothing elements that fit my best friend. She was there with me, not to worry. And in the end, she finally made up her mind and found something nice. I am happy for that! 

The rest of the comparison will be shared in private notes.

Just the drop off will be now shared here.

Empathy

I have learned about the meaning of this word the hard way: I discovered if anybody around me had a problem, I would live it like it was mine. And it still gives me nervousness, sadness or happiness the state of mind of the one next to me. So, I have learned in time that in a way I can be immune to all this torment going on around me: I have learned to travel with the earbuds boosting with music in my ears so I don't hear the crazy hectic world around me. And that is how I came to realise empathy can be defeated if you become an ignorant to the human problems and your life may become your own again. Because, I tell you, it's pretty difficult to have a life when empathising with strangers' problems. Ignorance is bliss!